Everyone (well everyone who mattered) was up to date with my feelings for Dima, a secret that had tortured me for a while but now it was out in the open and everyone was ok with it - he was ok with it, that was all that mattered. Our friendship was better than ever though my jealousy and clinginess was understandably annoying for Dima. So our relationship was up and down but when it was up, which was most of the time, I was immensly happy. Life pretty much went on without any problems, no drama, nothing.
Kai had an idea to hold film nights, specifically to view a list of cult films he, Dima and another friend Lena had compiled in their Media Studies lessons. I was fortunate to be asked along and the first one I remember was Fight Club at Dima's house. It would be the four of us plus two other friends and this was meant to be a kind of fixed group and we'd all take turns in hosting a film night. I barely knew Lena, only ever talking to her through/with Dima or Kai but we instantly connected at Dima's house after the film as we simultaneously threw the same dance move to Britney Spears' Toxic. To be totally honest I hadn't taken to her at first because I had a feeling Dima 'liked' her.
So weeks pass by and the group whittles down to just the four of us: Dima, Kai, Lena & I and by now talking about our personal lives completely overshadowed whatever film was on in the background. The final meeting was at Lena's house and the film to ignore was Donnie Darko. Dima sat most of the night with his arms crossed, not getting involved in conversation which Lena took to mean she had done something wrong. After hours of awkward silences and conversations we left but after Dima's actions I was not in a good mood and decided to blank both he & Kai on the ride home by listening to my iPod.
Not long after this final disasterous film night I realised that Dima had not nor would not confide in me which made me feel really low, he had confided in Kai though.I felt out of the loop and so once the Dima dubbed 'Fantastic Four' broke up I severed links with all of them, finding a new friend and confidant in another friend's (Alec) girlfriend, Milica. Dima eventually told me that he had feelings for Lena and was rather torn up about how he felt for her. Him telling me he had feelings for a girl were double-sided for me: good that he could trust me to tell me he had feelings for someone and, of course, bad in that I had to live with the fact the guy I had feelings for had feelings for someone else.Ulitmately I was just happy to know he could trust me and talk to me.
The Fantastic Four had broken up and I distanced myself from the other three, this would later turn out to be a bad move but for now I was just recovering from another burst bubble in my life.
Thanks for reading.
Engill
x
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