First Love VI: Love Is A War

I was finally getting my life back on track, there were no problems with any friends, school work was on the up just in time for the A2 exams and it seemed that all it took was the Eurovision Song Contest! Plans for this year's Eurovision are well under way! Unfortunately it seems that when things are going well for me something bad has to happen. After severing ties with Milica for calling me a liar, Welsh lessons with her became awkward and friends from the girls school began taking sides openly and in secret. I had unfortunately lost a good friend because this, we're friends again now but at thetime it was difficult, but some other members of the Welsh class did belive me and would sympathise with my situation - my situation was nothing compared to that of Milica and Alec of course but having been called a liar brought up fears from my past. In the past I was a bully basically, I lied to get what I wanted and I would hurt anyone who crossed me, I really wasn't a nice person so I am incredibly lucky to have such great friends now.

Things began to settle down aroung the time of the exams, I was dreading doing badly in a politics paper I was now resitting for the third time though some tensions still existed and the rumor mill was still in perfectly functioning condition. My allegiance rested with Alec and I tried my best to sympathise with him though I could not totally understand his situation, he & Milica had a long-term relationship and I've never been in one so my ability to sympathise was limited. The exam period flew by and I felt I had done well in most exams dreading only my politics result because I was so looking forward to studying International Politics & Welsh at Aberystwyth Uni - ended up with 2 Bs and an A so not too bad at all! And so all that was left to in year 13 was endure the Valendictory dinner in Cardiff.

The head boy was responsible for seating and I was not too pleased to discover I had been seated on the same table as Milica, could do without having to ignore someone for a night but some people had said she was hinting (or attention seeking, however you wanna see it) that she would not go. On the night she did make an appearence (surprise, surprise) though she was 'drunk', her acting was appauling she'd forget at times she was supposed to pretend to be drunk. She spoke only to a shared friend of ours, also sat at our table, though we decided to make up and forgive each other. At times she would laugh randomly in an attempt to keep up the attention pretence. Toward the end of the night she began crying and became inconsolable and she asked a friend several times to convince Alec to speak to her. After they had spoken and Milica left early because she was 'too drunk', Alec and I went outside to talk and he was adament nothing had changed, I knew he was lying but I thought it best to leave it.

On reflection immediately after the night, I had noticed Dima had been rude toward Milica which upset her, she later told me he was being unfair and had no reason to ignore her so in response I spoke to him less and thought a lot less of him thinking he was just being petty. I was able to do this at the time because I had no real feelings for him after all the complications we had had in the past, and I found it easier to dislike him over silly little things. I realise now that I was trying to desperately sever my feelings for him quickly and that I was definately going about it the wrong way.

To summarise, at this point I was very quickly going off Dima, barely speaking to him at all, I was friends with Milica again though the friendship was fragile, and it was the beginning of the summer holidays before we would all begin university. Time was slipping away and it would look as though this would end the story...
Thanks for reading.
Engill
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