This is pretty much just a diary entry summarising the last couple of days in Aber before the Easter (Pasg in Welsh) holidays. Why? Because I can :)
A couple of weekends before this final week some friends and I spent a weekend in Barry and had made some definite plans for people to come up and visit - actually this was just convenient as Alec was going to Aber for an open day. Sports sceince or something equally un-university-sounding (love you really!). The point was my two best frineds were coming up to my amazing little town as were two other friends so it was promising to be a great couple of days. In the lead up to their arrival I, obviously, got very excited but was given a cautionary/paranoid-y kinda 'warning' namely "oh and ju[s]t so you know, i hope you dont expect me to be with you all the time // may just spend time with just [__] or me and [__] might go somewhere alone and i want to spend time with [__] before she goes on thurs" Initial response? Yeah... thanks for that Dima. Wasn't expecting that at all and now just felt a tiny bit insecure.
So the 4 'Barrians' arrive and Kai & I show Alec and another friend to the Sport Science department and then showed the others around our halls of residence, before going out for dinner and then a walk around town. It was nice having this time with Dima again but I tried not to make so much effort with him as per his comment. Anyway we met up with the other two later and we went for food in Pantycelyn, I paid, I'm nice like that (!) and Alec came back to my room to get ready to go out later that night. I had planned on going but had an essay to do for the following day so that was a no-go. Alec & I had a little catch-up and a chat while he got ready, still can't believe I actually did his ironing for him, then I showed him to Kai's room where everyone else was getting ready for the night out.
A little while later Alec, Dima & another friend show up - Dima wanted me to get on with my essay so that I could go out whereas the other two came down to take advantage of my PS3 ownership. Dima soon left and the three of us who were left just talked, unfortunately I was the only non-hetero there and they began talking about hetero things, things I don't much care to type up to be honest!! Either way it ended up with me accidentally finding out that Alec had slept with my cousin and I was extremely annoyed that he had not shared this information with me before. This ultimately brought up a past issue, Alec had outed me to my sister and funnily enough I wasn't too happy about it.
The third person left Alec & I alone as tensions soared. It turned out that Alec & my sister were walking home together from a birthday party and my sister had asked him if I was gay - he doesn't remember telling her but it's obvious he had, he said he was drunk which is the lamest excuse in the history of the world. He apologised but I was too angry and upset at this point to care. Dima came in, no doubt as a result of me being the topic of conversation upstairs, and did his best to cheer me up but was unsuccessful. They both left me now, Dima still pushed me to get the essay done so I could come out. Instead of doing the essay I cried, relieving the upset, then I just got up from my computer chair and trashed my room, thereby relieving the anger. By the time Dima and everyone else was on the way out I was still tidying up after my freak-out.
I spent the next three/four hours struggling through my essay and trying to calm down, I didn't want to fall out with Alec but this was big. I went to meet up with the group after the Student Union closed around 3am-ish so that I could get Alec into the building. We got back to my room and silence fell immediately breaking only when Alec began a string of apologies. I realised that he was too close a friend to just not forgive him at that time, I owed him that much after everything he's done for me. He also promised to buy me a teddy which had nothing to do with my forgiving him so quickly...
After our long chat the tension faded and we of course stayed friends, it was about 4/5am when we went to bed (seperate beds obvioulsy) and the night ended on good terms and I would be sad to see him go later that morning.
Engill x
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